Perfect Reality

It’s fascinating how we can make our lives sound so picturesque and/or perfect by what we choose to share or not share. For example:

I can post a status on facebook that goes something like this: Planting herbs and lettuce in my square foot garden, wide open windows, organic strawberries from one of my favorite discount grocery stores, and flip flops & sunshine = happiness!!!… meanwhile, I didn’t mention the part about it being ferociously windy while I was out planting, with precious seeds almost being blown away.

I could tell you all about my fun morning browsing with Steph at Flower & Home Marketplace (super neat place, btw), stopping at Main Street Exchange, and about all the organic finds while grocery shopping… and then totally leave out the fact that we were STARVING hungry the last half of the trip and the car rattled and BANGED its way through town.

This afternoon I put on some soft music on Pandora, made myself a smoothie (I’m becoming rather predictable these days) and sat down at the table to… balance the checkbook. (A not-looked-forward-to task). Doesn’t it sound so much more romantic when I leave the balancing the checkbook part out?

I don’t blast all the juicy details of our marriage relationship for the whole world to see. As a result, it appears that we do nothing besides travel the world, have coffee together, and are always mushy gushy in love. Well, there is also reality and those grumpy days when one is not overly loveable. There are many things I don’t blog, because I cherish and respect our relationship way too much. Just know, we are as human as everyone else.

I can clear the mess in the background away when I take a picture, and give you the illusion that my house is clean all the time. It’s not. All you see is the focus of the picture and not the dust on the end table.

I can post a picture of my supper, and make it seem like I’ve been eating grand meals the last three days while hubby’s been away. The truth is, I’ve eaten leftover lasagna a time too many (it’s finally all eaten) and I haven’t eaten as healthily or as often as I should. It’s just so much bother to make food just for me! [Edited to add: ironically, I also just bit my tongue so hard that it bled profusely, while taking the last bite of this delicious salad. Not glamorous at all.]

So why do I do this? Why do I leave out less than glamorous details?

There are several reasons. Often, they don’t pertain to what I’m writing about. Often, I am choosing to fixate on the things I enjoy or see beauty in or am thankful for. If I felt like I always had to write a disclaimer when I’m writing about the simple things I find beauty in, well that gets annoying really fast. OH BY THE WAY, I’m not as happy about these things after all because there’s ALSO balancing the checkbook, wind, a messy house and all these other things. If I focus on these negatives, it’s alot harder to be thankful or take joy in things. And the last reason is, most people don’t want to read negative details all the time. Am I thinking correctly? Maybe I’m just too prone to look on the positive side. 😉

On the other hand, I do believe in writing honestly and realistically. Obviously life is not always going to be strawberries and sunshine. So my conclusion is… balance. I like reading about the ups and downs of other people’s lives, but always in balance.

Should I be weaving more reality and honesty into my blog posts? Tell me — I’d like to hear from you. 😀

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5 thoughts on “Perfect Reality

  1. I’ve debated about this issue as well, especially when writing mission field updates. I tend to just write about the good things, or maybe put in the bad things that I can give a nice twist to make them funny, and enjoyable reading. But who wants to read about my digestion, really? And often bad things have to do with other people, and it feels unfair and unkind to put those details in a public place. I didn’t mention if girls weren’t getting along, for example, even though it was a huge part of my life, or if I disagreed with the way a child was disciplined, or things like that. I think your reasons for focusing on the good are good ones, and people know that there are other things too that aren’t so nice that you just don’t post about.

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  2. You know, Kristen, I like reading positive things. There is negative in all our lives and we know your life is not all glamorous either. Being happy and positive is a choice and you have made that choice. Keep writing positive. 🙂
    That being said, I do like to also hear less than glamorous details of peoples’ lives too. In conclusion, write as the Spirit leads you, my friend.

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