Sometimes when I lay awake in bed at night and think back over the day, I can’t help but giggle out loud.
Like about how ridiculously hilarious Rose & I must have looked as we ran pell mell down the dirt road trying to make it to my [parked-on-the-road] car before the red truck coming down the road made it there first. All while clutching fistfuls of daisies and hilarious peals of laughter! And to make it worse, I’m pretty sure it was the oil guy who pulled me backwards out of the snowy ditch in February. I’m pretty sure he has a very strange opinion of me by now. haha!! :p
Like how funny my face must have looked yesterday when suddenly in a split second I went from cautiously manuevering the slippery waterfall rocks to WHOOSH… sitting down in the midst of them. Hahaha!!! (and ouch)
Like how amusing it is when there is blue thread discovered in my hair & when I suddenly realize I’m sitting at the supper table holding Raggedy Andy in my arms [well Isaac threw him at me so he had to go somewhere!] & when I accidently say to Ted, “Well I’m your brother!!” instead of “You’re my brother!” I tell my brothers that they’d miss it if I weren’t around and that they’ll probably marry someone just like me. Haha!! (They just roll their eyes)
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. [Oscar Wilde]
And sometimes when I think back over the day, my heart is full.
Saturday didn’t turn out quite like I thought it was going to. Visiting Dee in Indiana didn’t work out, so instead I took Mom up to see Grandma in the hospital. I smile when I think of the cheery pink Armeni flower perennial plant and “Come to me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden” plaque that are now on the table beside her hospital bed. I smile whenever I think of the moment when Mom paused from reading aloud “Knock and the door shall be opened unto you” and an actual knock immediately sounded on the door. And I think of how moving it was when she took my hand and said, “It’s good to see young life!” and I looked down at the contrast between my healthy reddish hand and her frail, pale one.
When I think of yesterday’s sermon preached from Hebrews 10, I try to wrap my mind around Marcus’ eye-opening illustration. He talked about how in the old covenant, the priests had to offer sacrifices year after year, because the blood of bulls and goats could not take the sins away. There was always a reminder of these sins. He emphasized the fact that we so often carry around the guilt and shame of our sins, when we really shouldn’t be living under that condemnation. Toward the middle of the sermon, he passed out papers and we all were to write down specific sins in our lives from the last few weeks. A little later, the papers were all collected in a basket and we all closed our eyes as he read different ones aloud. After he was finished, he held up the basket and made this statement, “Someone died for this basket of sins. Someone died for these.” They’re not just covered, they are remembered no more. After church was over, he went outside and burned all the papers. Wow. Such powerful imagery!
“Then He says, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.” [Hebrews 10: 17-18] “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” [I John 1:9]
And my heart smiles when I think back to lazy Sunday afternoons with 84* sunshine & lounge chairs & Almond Joy pieces & books 😀
(“Kristin? Are you ever going to stop taking pictures and let me eat them?”)
Sometimes I cringe, when I think back to words I should or shouldn’t have said. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t pray more for this person or that person, or why I focus so much on this _____ instead of what my true priorities should be. I think of how I need to change this _____ and how can I be more like Jesus and what should I be learning through this _____? (Yeah, there are lots of this’ right now)
And what will I think of tonight? I’ll think of how I lazily stayed in my pajamas forever & blogged to my heart’s content & ate watermelon with Isaac & met Rolanda for coffee in the afternoon & texted Dad a picture of a coffee mug and the message, “It’s time for Dad coffee again!” & ran out in the rain & cleaned my room & received sweet postcards in the mail & whatever else should happen that I have no clue about yet… That’s the best part, the anticipation of what could happen next! 😀
Or maybe I’ll just fall asleep reading Finding the Love of Your Life like I did last night. (haha! I really and truly did- fall asleep, that is ;))
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. [Oscar Wilde]
(And this is just my little life… I’d love to know what you think about too when you’re trying to fall asleep)