Poor little blog. Poor blog readers that haven’t had anything new to read. I’d say “sorry” but sometimes you just can’t express and there are times to be silent. Sometimes writing helps to work through and process, and sometimes things have to be worked through on paper and inside and with God alone.
Life is meant to just be lived sometimes.
Hands knead bread, plunge into raw soil, tousle curly heads, water thirsty grape plants, and hold dandelion wishes. Heart delights in lush green trees, vibrant yellow flowers, old sheet music, sunshine, “I like you” from little brothers, all kinds of love songs from Jesus, chalkboard paint, butterflies on lilacs, femininity, Dad hugs and so much more. Eyes are opened to ugliness and way too much selfishness, cluttered heart areas that need divine organization, and painful recognition of all that lacks and needs to be let go of. Ears listen and heart feels the weight and voice praises. Feet are going and going too much sometimes, and everything else can’t keep up.
And I desperately want the eyes to smile and the face to glow from deep within. How do I become the person I am meant to be and live the way Jesus truly wants me to live?
“But I believe that God meant for life to take our breath away, sometimes because of the sheer joy of it all and sometimes because of the sheer pain. To choose living over pretending means that we will know both.” (Angela Thomas)
There is so much joy and smiles and sunshine. And there are aches running along the same track as the joy and many rain showers. How can you have joy and ache at the same time?
And then I forget. I doubt and fear and worry and obsess. He sends me flowers (through a sweet friend) and whispers, “You are treasured, you are sacred, you are MINE.”*
There are lies about value and worth to fight, aches felt vividly, and selfishness to be crucified.
Hiding, shame, not good enough.
I want to cringe and run away. I can’t measure up.
And He stoops down low to gently say, “You’re not alone, for I am here. Let me wipe away every fear. My love, I’ve never left your side… I have seen you through the darkest night. I’m the one that’s loved you all your life.”**
He just wants us to let Him love us. It’s as simple as that.
This touches me deeply:
You hold the weight of the world
Still I don’t slip through Your hands
Your love is bigger than just an ocean built by man
I fall again and again but You whisper, “You’re still mine”
You feel the pain of the world but You never push mine aside
And You reach for me with a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world, but I hear You calling out my name
You reach for me, now I’m never gonna be the same***
He’s reaching, inviting you [and me] to be His chosen, delighted in one.