In Brokenness… Christ Shines

[My sweet friend Marissa wrote this beautiful piece, and gave me permission to share it as a guest post. It  touched my heart deeply. May it bless you as much as it blessed me!]

He never said it would be easy to surrender dreams…to give up aspirations because He asked me to. When my heart feels as if it’s torn in a million pieces, and confusion becomes a dark cloud hovering over my being… Why does it hurt so fiercely to simply surrender? His voice is so gentle, and His will so wholly perfect. Yet I insist on safekeeping my will in my tightly-clenched hands. When my intellect understands that dreams, aspirations, my will, and ultimately, my life, must be surrendered to Christ, my heart still cries out–“No! Please, not my precious plans!” How my unwillingness to trust must pain the heart of my Lord! His tears mingle with my own as He whispers to me, “Trust Me, my daughter. Just trust. Simply rest in my goodness and surrender your will”. Why does it seem that the dreams that are the most difficult to give up are those beautiful, cherished dreams that I hold close to my heart? Sometimes one feels alone when others’ dreams are being fulfilled and my own are not to be.

I feel the deep ache in the core of my being when brokenness settles on my life. The tears flow as I realize what the Father is asking me to do. I open my hands and watch as my beloved dreams are exposed to the eyes of Jesus. Slowly I uncurl my fingers until my hands are raised and those dreams are resting on the palms of my quivering hands. I look up at my Heavenly Father and see the love in His eyes as He reaches out and takes my dreams. The one that glittered in the warm evening sun, the one that was wrapped in black-and-white polka dotted paper, and the one with a pink rose. He took them all.

I can look no longer and begin to weep again as He gently closes my hands with His own. “My beloved daughter,” He said as He wipes away my tears, “Do not weep for the past. Do not weep for surrendered hopes. I know the plans that I have for you, and they are dreams for your future. Simply trust Me.”

He didn’t say that life would be easy, but He promised grace that is sufficient for my needs, and in His love, that He would never leave my side. He is the one who gives beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for mourning. He promised that all things work together for good to those who love Him. My heart is safe in the hands of the One who created the universe. My dreams are but small things to Him. His love for me is so unfathomably deep that He can create a masterpiece from the pain and the brokenness with my surrendered dreams and bless my life with something infinitely better–His dreams.

[In Brokenness You Shine]

When life becomes a shattered dream
That’s slipping through my trembling hands
I need to know that You are near
To know You see each falling tear
When there is no one else who understands

When I can’t find the words to speak
You hear the pain in each heartbeat
Before I even call to You
In my deepest hour of need
That’s when You come and pour Your mercy on me

Your beauty shines
Your love surrounds
Where cries of brokenness are found bring hope alive
Help me believe
And trust You one more time
In brokenness You shine
In brokenness You shine

Let comfort be a living thing
A river flowing from my grief
Where thirsty souls can drink their fill
And find in You their heart’s release
And through my sorrows show Your freedom and hope

How could I know when others said
A word or two then walked away
That You, the Man of Sorrows
Would come near to stay
You’ll always stay

I want to see Your beauty one more time
In brokenness You shine
In brokenness You shine

[oh for grace to trust. Him. more!]

written by Marissa Youngman